RokDeez Bulls Blog

Editors note: This post was written before the Luka Doncic for Anthony Davis, and Zach LaVine/De’Aaron Fox trades were made. A Zach LaVine reactions post will be coming later today…

Well it’s that time of year, NBA TRADE SEASON!!! The NBA Trade Deadline is this Thursday, February 6th, at 2pm central time. There are sooooo many rumors out there right now involving the Bulls. Golden State is interested in Zach LaVine. Golden State is interested in Nikola Vucevic. Golden State is interested in Benny the Bull. Okay, so I made up that last one. But the point is, there are rumors involving the Bulls, even if it’s just one team with minimal interest in two guys.

This was supposed to be a tear down season for the Bulls. They were supposed to be retooling on the fly. Getting rid of veterans and picking up draft assets or youngish players ready to do Big Things in the Big City (e.g. Josh Giddey). With less than a week left before the trade deadline, Arturas Karnisovas and Marc Eversley seem poised to disappoint the fan base once again.

The over/under on number of trades the Bulls make before the deadline has been set at 1.5 by CHGO Bulls. I’m taking the under. If the Bulls Brass makes it through another trade deadline without unloading at least 2 players (any 2 players) I’m going to do something I haven’t had to do in about 4 years. I’m going to write a mean post about the Front Office! You’ve been warned AKME.

If they don’t want to do their job, then I guess it’s up to us to do it for them! Enter the trade machine, exit every current player on the roster!

First let’s do some easy trades to warm things up.

ZACH LAVINE and NIKOLA VUCEVIC to the Golden State Warriors.

It’s obvious that Steve Kerr, Steph Curry, and Draymond Green really want the extra help LaVine and Vucevic could bring to the Warriors. I mean, it’s a guaranteed title with those two on the roster, just look at how well the Bulls have done with both of them on the roster. So let’s pull up the old FanSpo trade machine and make dreams into reality.

Wow! That was easy! It only took 10 players switching teams to pull off. I’m surprised this hasn’t happened already.

Let’s get rid of the other Bulls veterans…

TORREY CRAIG, JEVON CARTER, CHRIS DUARTE, and LONZO BALL to Houston

If there’s one thing a young but on the rise team needs it’s the calming presence of a bunch of veterans. The Rockets might actually be contenders this year, but only if they take the Bulls deadweight established performers off of our hands.

Great we’re on a roll! Time to get rid of all the young talent we don’t want screwing up our chances at tanking for young talent.

MATAS BUZELIS, DALEN TERRY, and PATRICK WILLIAMS to the MIAMI HEAT

Admit it, you thought I was going to try and get Jimmy back didn’t you? HA! The last thing we need is that Hollywood such-and-such gumming up the works and getting us back to the playoffs. I’d much rather take a gamble on Terry Rozier, if you get my drift, then put up with Jimmy’s antics.

Now it’s time to get rid of the recent hires. Sorry guys, you’re just not working out.

JALEN SMITH and JOSH GIDDEY to the Los Angeles Lakers

I feel like somebody has to sacrifice trade new blood talent to the Lakers every deadline so that LeBron can continue rising from his sarcophagus every night to terrorize the NBA. This year it’s the Bulls turn.

Death is only the beginning…

We’ve reached the most difficult portion of the post. We have to get rid of the two stalwarts of the Chicago Bulls roster, the two players that I tune in to watch every single game, the leaders of the team:

COBY WHITE and AYO DOSUNMU to the DENVER NUGGETS

Denver isn’t quite the team they used to be. They’ve slid to 4th place in the Western Conference and I can only assume it’s because they heavily rely on a slow white dude to lead the team. This unathletic plow horse of a man is only dragging the Nuggets down. The Bulls would be doing Denver a tremendous favor by taking this so-called basketball player off of their hands and replacing him with two proven leaders that know what it takes to almost make the playoffs!

Huh? Look at that! Even all the complex salary-hard-cap-financial stuff works out perfectly! It’s almost as if this trade was meant to happen.

And we’ve done it! We’ve traded the Bulls entire roster and ensured we Capture the Flagg! I just hope he’s up for dragging that giant from Denver up and down the court every night, at least until next Trade Deadline when we hit refresh on the roster.

Until it does, thanks for reading, thanks for subscribing and GO BULLS!